Dogwood Winter (Extended Version)

by J Bengoy

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  • 11"x17" poster, heavy stock gloss paper
    artwork by Eli Coretti
    layout by Patrick Freeman

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1.
03:33
2.
3.
4.
04:41
5.
02:15
6.
03:11
7.
02:58
8.
04:25
9.
10.
11.

about

Captured on this record are our collective experiences with youth and the exit from it. Youth is a deeply strange thing. Sometimes it is the exciting, nail-biting, anxiety-producing experience of falling in love. Sometimes it can be the difficult, painful learning process that should occur after you hurt someone you care for. It is a time where innocence can either turn into experience or ignorance. As days pass, our memories tend to take on a rosy hue. "Dogwood Winter" excavates those memories and takes another look, trying to re-discover what was lost over time.

We recorded this album during a period of upheaval in our lives - post-college. The ending of relationships, coming to terms with working life, and figuring out how to recapture youthful energy are also themes that are drawn upon from our experiences.

This band is a family. We argue, bicker, make toasts, and debate the finer points of baldness. We love each other. Many heartfelt thanks to the people that have supported us during this process and in being the weird people that we are - our families, friends, and Burlington.
- J Bengoy

credits

released April 17, 2018

Justin Barton - Keys, vocals
Charlie Hill - Guitar, vocals
Greg Heelan - Guitar
Ryan Jory - Bass, backing vocals
Patrick Freeman - Drums, guitar, backing vocals

All songs © J Bengoy 2018. All rights reserved.

Lyrics: Charlie Hill (3, 4, 8, 9), Greg Heelan (1, 2, 5), and Justin Barton (1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11).
All music written by J Bengoy.
Writing help from Margot Van Horne on Track 3.

Tracks 1-8 recorded by Charlie Hill & the Benboys
Produced by Patrick Freeman at Pine Street Studios, Burlington, VT
Mixed by Daniel Kruglak at Meadowlark Studios, Williston, VT
Tracks 9, 10 & 11 recorded and mixed by Theodore Klein at Empire Studios, Crown Heights, NY
All tracks mastered by Rob O’Dea at Tank Studio in Burlington, VT
Artwork by Eli Coretti
Photography by Kayhl Cooper
Artwork Layout by Patrick Freeman

license

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J Bengoy Vermont

We like bleary-eyed sunsets and short walks on the beach.

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Track Name: Hands
Looking at my hands
Creased and cracked and made of sand
Solace washes in
All that was and is
Will fade divide and end

Telephone lines dance
Collecting calls that don’t know where or how to begin
When you look at what’s been sent
You think of words
that should never be said

Now I know what we can do
I can’t find a way to make it up to you
You see me staring at my hands
As though I’ve done something that Would make it hard to exist
We’re going out on the town
Running around and
Trying not to scream and shout and

Ambulate, escalate to the highest line
Is this what it feels like
Falling apart
Ambulate, escalate to the highest line
Is this what it’s been like
Right from the start

When we were young
When we were young
When we were
Track Name: Reprise (Marthasville)
Waiting for the weekend
Waiting for my head to roll
Hoping for some time that
We might be alone

Caught up on the words that
Show you how I really feel
Spin around my head in search of what is

So what can you say?
And what can you do
When your thoughts and theories
Always get the best of you

What can you know
When seconds can steal?
I might just find a way
To serpentine this deal

Sit down tell me all your worries
I won’t be your judge and jury
I will never say what you should do

You won’t be the constant shelter
From a world that I could welter in
But somehow
You still pull me through

I want you
Track Name: So Good (I Could Die)
Keeping in shape at least in my face
Living life just like I know
I can’t always find a reason to survive
But I like the way it’s going today
All my troubles say stay home but I feel

So good I could die right now
If you asked me to I’d say
Yeah I’m gonna do it
So good I could die right now
If you had a gun I’d say
Hurry up and shoot it
So good I could die right now
Everything I’ve done would
Float on its current
So good I could die right now
Living any longer would take Away from it

I get a lot of grief
Just for saying what I mean
Sometimes I’m just sorry for The inconvenience
Sometimes I feel pretty sad
Sometimes I’m just mad
Neither does me any better
All my troubles say stay home but I feel


So good I could die right now
If you asked me to I’d say
Yeah I’m gonna do it
So good I could die right now
If you had a gun I’d say
Hurry up and shoot it
So good I could die right now
Everything I’ve done would
Float on its current
So good I could die right now
Living any longer would take Away from it

It’s gonna take some time
Before I can find
Anything worth more
Than this closing door
But I
Track Name: Brains
Hopeful
I’ve been all my life
Staring
Into what they call strife
I want to be there even when I’m not
Tell them where they went wrong

Always on my mind
Keeping myself alive and in time
I feel so misunderstood

Lately I’ve been having doubts
Trying to keep myself out
I want to even when I’m out
To show them where they went wrong

Always on my mind
Keeping myself alive and in time
I feel so misunderstood

When I get my book on the wall
I will know where I fall and what for
I need your honest ear
I’m here because of the fear
I feel the beat of us all
Coming here before the fall
And I would say

There’s been something
Eating at my head
Telling me what there is instead

Always on my mind
Keeping myself alive and in time
I feel so misunderstood
Keeping it
Track Name: Armchair
Crawling, clawing
I'm just trying to climb in
And get going
pushing hard against the horizon
Because things fall down
But they don't always fall into place

Steadfast, static
Every day is so damn automatic
I stop sleeping cause I'm tired
Of dreaming
Of the one where our souls
Are standing in line
And you're sitting in your armchair
Just killing time

Fall in line
Fake the whole thing
Cut me loose
Cut it clean now
Track Name: Bleached
Forest underneath my feet
You were chasing on my heels
We were so young and naive
Didn’t know just how to feel

We were singing who are you?

Walking up from Old Oak Drive
Looking down from Shepard Hills
The thought that
We might have made eyes
Was more than I could have concealed

Who are you?

It was so serene
Hanging from those trees
Clothes all stained with bleach
Thinking funny things

Who are you?
Track Name: Simpsons
Have I met you?
Well I hope I will
Cognizant of needs I won’t fulfill
Build up the confidence to ask you out
I’d rather hide inside my head
But that won’t put these thoughts to bed

Can we go back to your house and
Get butt naked
Go into your room and
Watch the Simpsons?

Oh moving slow feels so good
Wondering if we even should
Some things can’t be sold in this world
And I don’t know if this is one of them but
We can always play pretend until it’s not



Plan a trip into the Ouachitas
Make it to the cabin before nightfall
Stay up telling tales
Talk about what ails
Listening to the whippoorwills

So can we let the fire go and
Both get naked
Turn the lamplight low and
Watch the Simpsons?

Oh moving slow feels so good
Wondering if we even should
Some things can’t be sold in this world
And I don’t know if this is one of them but
We can always play pretend until it’s not
Track Name: Suspended
Suspend the part of my head
That will come around again
To your door at 3 am
Your color tv
Your strands of lights
They illuminate the night
We stay up talking
Like we were once friends

Oh I was seen
Walking on my street
Caught living a different life
Uncertain
Of that I’m sure
Managing blissfully

You and I haven’t been here
Daring to leave
What we’ve always known
We’re the ones
Who are trying to change
You need to recognize

We’re already there
Track Name: Strong Armed (Live)
Shake your mind
Love your lines
Wonder why you feel confined
Stay up late
Hate your face
Tired of all your tries

I’ve said my prayers

She gets fired
Hopes transpire
Waiting on a new thing
I’ve got mine
Spend my time
Was there and moved on

I’ve said my prayers
Track Name: Don't Talk (Live)
You were sitting at the top of the stairs
You know, those linoleum one we installed two weeks ago
And you had this
Big ole evil grin on your face
like I had done something wrong
But you hadn’t admitted it yet

So I said hey little lady what’s going on
And you said
What kind of demeaning question is that
That’s not conducive to anything at all

And we looked at each other in Acknowledgement
Because we both know
We don’t talk about it

I was losing my luminescence
While you were becoming
Increasingly enigmatic
A hole was opening up
In the staircase wall
Inch by inch
Meter by meter
Yard by yard
It was swallowing up my head
And I forgot my name
And you forgot mine too
Because if we’re honest
We’ll acknowledge
That we don’t talk about it

You were losing your vagabond clothes
and I was losing what I’d come to know
Which is
We don’t talk about it
Track Name: Borderline, Pt. 2 (Live)
Prostrating in bed
Miscounting sheep
I was worried about the way that
You had felt and
Then you told me
Your cynical apprehensive sensitivity
Has pushed me
Into the mid-North American sea
So yeah
It’s over

But maybe I’m
I’m not so messed up
Actively innocent
You are the jaded one

I’m sorry for the hurtful sentiment
In the last chorus
I know that you meant the best
By being brutally honest
We all want acceptance
Of our faults and wrongs and insecurities
And my ill-fittingly designed upholstery
I pull my last hair out

Cause if I’m really that messed up
My active innocence is becoming undone
Am I really that messed up?
Okay, I believe you

I need help sometimes
Losing my fucking mind
Am I who I want?
I’m on the borderline

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